Dear Pamela,
Because of your posts I have started lifting weights twice a week, walking every day, and paying attention to my food quality. For me, that has meant more protein and veggies, less packaged foods, and way less wine and sweet coffees.
My energy is higher, I am in a better mood, and I have fewer aches and pains in my knees and back.
Here is the problem, I only manage to stay “on track” if I have nothing social going on. The second I get around other people, I eat and drink all the things I worked hard to avoid on the other days.
I go home with a stomach ache, feeling bloated, my joints are stiff, and I am filled with self-loathing.
This happens at lease three times on a normal week. With the holidays coming, I am screwed.
I don’t want to stay home like a hermit, and I don’t want to be a total buzz-kill at parties and dinners.
Please help,
Your Failed Social Butterfly.
Dear Social Butterfly,
As I read, I started wondering, are you the Bat-woman of health?
Wouldn’t it be cool, Social Butterfly, if, like a caterpillar, we could hunker down for a few months with our kale and dumbbells and emerge the shiny and healthier version of ourselves without anyone watching along the way?
Wouldn’t it be scary if friends and family were thinking, “It’s just a matter of time before she’s back on the couch with a pint of ice cream and listing her exercise bands on craigslist like me”?
If they don’t know you are trying, they won’t know if you fail or judge if you indulge.
Progress over Perfection
If you feel restricted all week and want the option to say yes when offered your old favorites, you aren’t weak, you’re human.
Repeat after me, “I do not need to be perfect to make progress.”
Let’s figure out how to avoid going fully off the rails every time you go out.
Go in with a plan
When you show up at an event, do a lap to assess food and drink options. Look for best choices and favorites. Fill up on the options that favor veggies and proteins, and pick a favorite to eat in moderation.
When you eat that favorite, put your foot down hard on any shame that tries to creep up so you can be fully present, enjoy it to the max and be satisfied with less.
Be comfortable making others uncomfortable
I bet your secret health-identity helps protect others.
If others see you in your full health-goddess glory, they might feel…..uncomfortable.
No one has to lick the last bit of chocolate icing off their fork while you stand there demonstrating excellent willpower. How considerate of you.
Want to know something crazy? For better or worse, health is contagious.
It has been found that if you have a friend who becomes obese, you have a 57% chance of becoming obese yourself during that same time frame.
If you come out with your health goals, once some initial discomfort passes, you could flip that stat.
There is nothing more inspiring than a front-row seat to a friend’s health-success. It won’t be long until you are being pulled aside and asked for your secrets. That’s the way to care for your herd.
As you bob, weave, and jump through your gauntlet of happy hours and potlucks, know it won’t be smooth, and you don’t have to be perfect.
Your body is gratefully soaking up all of the love and care you are pouring into it.
Cheers, you beautiful butterfly,
Coach Pamela
